miles & miles away

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my roots. My parents were both born and raised in the Middle East, but have lived in the states for 23 years. No, that's not right. They've been married for 23 years and that's how long my mom's been here, but my dad came here way before that.. I'm not even sure exactly when. Anyways, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins -- except for a few that are scattered across the world -- are all in the Middle East.

This means that if my grandma's not feeling very well, God forbid, it would take my dad minimum 24 hours to reach her side. It means that my mom couldn't sit in the hospital with her mother when my grandfather was in surgery. We don't even hear about half their pains and worries because they don't want to worry us when we're thousands of miles away, where our knowledge of the situation won't make a difference. It's not just the painful times that we miss, but the joyful moments as well. I can't count the number of weddings, birthdays, graduations, and other celebrations that we've missed. Sometimes I'm so out of the loop that I might hear that a cousin has just given birth and in absolute bewilderment I'll ask, "She was pregnant?!" (It's a good thing I've kept up with who's married)

They miss out on our good times too. Imagine that the next time my grandparents see their daughter, my mother, she will be holding in her hands a 7-month old baby that they've never seen except in a couple of pictures. I find that to be extremely sad. We love them, we worry about them, we think about them, but it's all from afar. And sad as it sounds let's be real, as the saying goes, Out of sight, out of mind. 

This all sounds melodramatic, but in reality, we've all adjusted to this way of life. As much as my parents love their parents and wish that they could be there for them all the time, they have become accustomed to a completely different way of life and it would be extremely difficult to pack up and leave. With our home, school, work, friends, society, etc., we are completely settled in our current way of life and we're happy.

I just don't think it's right for parents to be separated from their children, particularly in their old age. I can't imagine being in my parents' situation, being so far from my mom and dad, unable to reach them when they need me or I need them or if I simply want to see them. The thing is that in the Middle East, my grandparents have family to distract them (sadly) from our absence. Here, our family is my parents and us kids. I don't think either of us could stand to lose our connection. It makes me wonder where my fate lies...