My friends and I were out together having breakfast – we were celebrating our graduation from high school (this was four years ago). I had brought my sister Sana with me because my mom was busy and needed me to babysit. Sana was three years old at the time. I can still picture the scene of me walking across the restaurant, hand in hand with Sana, who had syrup all over her face, fingers, and clothes. I smiled at the nice people having breakfast in the restaurant and I could see it in their eyes: Aaw, the little girl is so cute, but that poor mom – she’s too young! Lord! Once again, my response: smile and nod. What rattles me is that if I saw an average-looking, 17-year old American girl walking with a 3 year old, I would not automatically assume a parent-child relationship. Actually, I would probably assume that they are sisters. In my case, when people see me – a Muslim girl – my hijab (headscarf) often automatically triggers negative impressions of oppression and ignorance. For reasons I will ascribe to media focus and an unfortunate ignorance, people see me with my sister and envision an uneducated girl at the mercy of her male relatives, forced by her father to dress in a certain way as well as enter an oppressive marriage, in which her sole purpose is to birth children and assume the role of slave to her master. Bleh. All I can think right now is if Sana really were my daughter, I’d have been pregnant at 12!
How am I so sure that this is what occurs in the minds of too many people when they see me? Besides that it gives me mixed feelings of aggravation, frustration, and amusement, how do I react? More about that later.
This is a lie! Muslim girls cannot have sisters nor consume breakfast.
ReplyDeleteI was just talking to my parents yesterday about a class one of them taught in which there were a half-dozen students with middle eastern-sounding names. I think it is probably tough enough going through the public school system in a country like this with a muslim name, let alone navigating society. I guess what is hard for me to understand is how people feel so strongly about things they have the least knowledge about.
I would wonder if your sister was your daughter because you do look older than truly are and because, not knowing if you were from the U.S. or not, you really were a young bride brought over as a girl who must be married by age whatever and there was no one in the old country for you to marry. Which, or course, is a great big case of stereotyping.
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for my ignorance.
I wouldn't be as surprised now if people thought my baby sisters were my kids, but it bugged me when I was younger because I was young.
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting when you mentioned the stereotypical thoughts American generally have about middle eastern people and how you question your assumptions of what people are thinking.
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