I pray five times a day. Prayer is the second pillar of Islam, I am Muslim and – at the risk of sounding redundant – so I pray.
The five prayers are dispersed throughout the day at dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset, and late evening. Salah, the Arabic term for prayer, literally comes from the root word meaning connection. Our prayers are our direct connection to God; there is no intermediary and it maintains a constant connection between Him and myself. Life is interspersed with distractions in the form of work, stress, happiness, sadness, family, etc. My prayers place God into the equation of life in case I’ve forgotten; my prayer is a fixed opportunity for me to attribute my blessings to Him, thank Him for my source of happiness, ask Him to help me overcome a difficult situation, and so on.
“Leilaa, we’re about to start.”
I’m being called down to pray with my family. I could finish the chapter I’m reading, the post I’m typing for my blog, the show I’m watching, etc. I could finish whatever it is I’m doing and later, pray on my own. But in my house, that constitutes as a no-no. If my mom and I, for example, are both home during prayer time, it is expected that we pray together. Of course it would be easier for each of us to pray when it is most convenient for our separate schedules, but that’s not the way things work. We both accommodate each other so that we can pray together.
Understand that my Muslim duty to pray five times a day would be fulfilled whether I pray alone or with my family. However, the reward is multiplied 27x if I pray in a group (I’m going to investigate why 27). As a child, I would sometimes take the opportunity of a commercial break to complete my prayer. When I told my dad, “I already prayed by myself,” he would ask, “Did you pray 27 times so that you can get the same reward?” Of course I hadn’t; I had finished my prayer as fast as possible so that I could quickly return to my show without being interrupted later on at a crucial part of the episode.
I realize now why my parents always stressed the importance of praying in a group. When I pray with somebody else, I can’t rush the prayer and I am forced to be more conscious of what I am saying/doing. The fact that I may be forced to interrupt my schedule to pray fulfills, in my opinion, part of the purpose of our five daily prayers. There is also the idea that whatever it is I am doing, God comes first. In my home, prayer brings my family together; it’s one of the places where our lives intersect. It’s something we share, we worship God together, and He bestows His mercy upon us as a family. It’s a blessing.
I’m reminded of something I once heard: A family that prays together stays together.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Default Setting
I was this close to studying dentistry. I am working on a master’s degree in English. Allow me to explain:
When I graduated from high school and registered for courses at the university, I had no ideas for my future career but I knew I was going to be a biology major. I was a bio major by default; I didn’t even have to think about it much, what else would I be? Perhaps I am exaggerating a bit and doing an injustice to myself. I’ve always been intrigued by biology, the study of life. In high school, I took more than the required number of science courses, really cool courses like Genetics and Microbiology. And it’s not as if I wasn’t good at biology. Then again I was a 4.0 student, school was my priority and I did good in all my classes. Moreover, I enjoyed most of them; my favorite high school classes in high school were Genetics, English, F.S.T (Functions, Statistics, and Trigonometry) and Humanities. A blessing and a curse.
So why did I register and begin fall semester as a Biology major? I already mentioned that it interested me, but no more than other subjects. I attribute the fact that biology was my default setting to my Syrian roots. At the end of their 9th grade year, Syrian students choose to continue their studies with a primary focus in either the sciences (chemistry, calculus, physics, etc) or the arts (history, geography, etc). How can a 15-year old possibly decide the focus of his future education and career? Generally, it’s not very difficult because the ‘smart’ kids are expected to pursue the sciences. Ironically, these students who follow the science route 10-12th grade may choose to get a degree in the arts, but ultimately they have more choices. Also, at the end of 12th grade, there is a major exam, the scores of which determine what field a student can study in university. Students spend two years stressing and preparing for this exam. I believe the exam is out of 240 points and each field is assigned a minimum score, the fields are basically ranked. The number one field that requires a nearly perfect score (seriously, usually something like 238!) is medicine, which is closely followed by pharmacy, dental school, and so on.
It’s a completely different system and I’ve left out a lot of details, but you get the idea: smarts equals sciences and the best possible career equals medicine. Period. In my home, it’s difficult to escape this mentality. My father is a physician and it’s hard for him to grasp the concept of a smart student not pursuing a career in the medical field? If I can do it, why wouldn’t I?
And so, I became a biology major, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. For a while, I seriously considered becoming a physician. It’s an extremely rewarding profession that helps countless people in life-altering ways. And it definitely has its advantages – financial security, social prestige, etc. But, I saw how being a doctor can take over your life and I didn’t want that. (Plus, I wasn’t prepared to commit myself to something like ten years of medical school). What’s second best to medicine? I decided it was dentistry.
I didn’t have a deep passion for any specific subject, I couldn’t imagine myself in any one profession, and so I settled for dentistry. But why couldn’t I give myself the time to determine what it is I would do? The sense that the medical field – if not a doctor then a dentist – overshadowed most other professions, definitely existed in my subconscious. It was surprising for me to see things in a different light. All the while, I was also an English major, but I didn’t know until after I’d gotten quite far in the application process for dentistry that English was something I could and would further pursue, an idea that hadn’t occurred to me before. Don’t think that I consciously ignored a love for English language and writing because when I realized it, that is when my plans changed. I know that whatever smarts I have can be put to good use as much in English as any other profession, and the more time I spend with language, the more I realize it’s an art that requires a sharp mind.
Don’t get me wrong, my dad supports my decision to study English, but I’m quite sure that my shift away from dentistry is not exactly his favorite subject.
:)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Proud Moment
“I don’t care what color I am!! As long as I’m not purple or pink or something not normal.”
~ my 7-year old sister
hurt people, hurt people
Yesterday night, my dad and I were having a heated discussion, when my 7-year old sister walked into the room. We weren’t actually saying anything at that point, but she must have sensed some lingering tension because she sat beside me and with a smiling face whispered to me that age-old golden rule, “If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.” It’s amazing how children can sense things while we continue to assume that they are too young to understand.
At the family camp I attended last weekend, one of the speakers said something that has been floating around in my mind all week, “Hurt people, hurt people.” People who are hurt, hurt other people with their words and actions. How much more peaceful would life be if we kept this in mind? And it’s a two-way street. When I am hurt, I have to be careful not to project this hurt towards others, and if someone hurts me, I must keep in mind that they may be hurt. The fact that I am hurt is no excuse for me to lash out towards someone else (most likely someone I care about), but it might help that person to understand my behavior.
Naturally, this is easier said than done. A hurt person is vulnerable and their self-control is reduced, it takes discipline to restrain one’s self from hurting others. Further, knowing that a person is hurt doesn’t diminish the effect of being hurt. It’s difficult to not take things personally. Just because I realize that the person facing me is under stress, going through difficulties, etc, it doesn’t mean that this person can’t still cause me pain. I suppose this is why “Hurt people, hurt people” is stated as a given, almost like a rule. The worst part of the situation is that if I am hurt and if I lash at out somebody, more than likely I am going to target this hurt towards people that I feel comfortable with, the people I care about, my family.
Well, it’s definitely something to keep in mind, and as long as it’s a rule, there is room for exceptions.
At the family camp I attended last weekend, one of the speakers said something that has been floating around in my mind all week, “Hurt people, hurt people.” People who are hurt, hurt other people with their words and actions. How much more peaceful would life be if we kept this in mind? And it’s a two-way street. When I am hurt, I have to be careful not to project this hurt towards others, and if someone hurts me, I must keep in mind that they may be hurt. The fact that I am hurt is no excuse for me to lash out towards someone else (most likely someone I care about), but it might help that person to understand my behavior.
Naturally, this is easier said than done. A hurt person is vulnerable and their self-control is reduced, it takes discipline to restrain one’s self from hurting others. Further, knowing that a person is hurt doesn’t diminish the effect of being hurt. It’s difficult to not take things personally. Just because I realize that the person facing me is under stress, going through difficulties, etc, it doesn’t mean that this person can’t still cause me pain. I suppose this is why “Hurt people, hurt people” is stated as a given, almost like a rule. The worst part of the situation is that if I am hurt and if I lash at out somebody, more than likely I am going to target this hurt towards people that I feel comfortable with, the people I care about, my family.
Well, it’s definitely something to keep in mind, and as long as it’s a rule, there is room for exceptions.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Baby Shower Thoughts
There's definitely an advantage to having younger siblings. Well, there's a lot, but one of them is that when I have my own kids, I won't be one of those new mothers who are always stressing out about their babies, overprotective, smothering, and really irritating. God, I hope I'm not like that! When I see these types of mothers, I feel sorry for mother, child, and father. My friend's sister-in-law recently had her first baby and she made everybody crazy with her notes and tables that kept record of when her baby last ate, from which side (sorry, TMI), what time he slept, how long, and so on. That's too intense for me, plus too much tension in the house. It can't be good for the baby if the mom is constantly stressing about all these technicalities. Motherhood is a natural thing and babies shouldn't have to deal with such a stressful environment.
To a certain extent, I understand the obsessiveness of some parents. Babies are a huge responsibility, they're fragile and precious, which makes them quite scary. I suppose some parents deal with this by trying to enforce control on the situation, but sometimes you just can't force things.
I was at a baby shower today and an older friend of mine told me that she was in a similar situation as mine - when she was 16, her mother had a baby boy. So when this friend of mine had her first baby, she wasn't one of those stressful moms because she was familiar with having a baby in the house. "When you get married though," she says, "make sure you tell your husband that you want to wait a while before you have kids." I totally agree. As much as I love my siblings and as much as I want kids of my own someday, I'd like to enjoy a quiet household with no babies for awhile. Apparently, my friend waited five years after her marriage before she had her first child. She only had one baby brother, I have four!
Anyways, at the baby shower, one of the gifts was a box of 96 newborn-sized diapers. One of the guests comments, "Only someone with no kids would buy such a thing. Your baby's going to come out weighing 8lb..." (Basically, the baby will grow out of the newborn size diapers/clothes before the box of diaper finishes). I later commented to my mom that the thing I noticed is that the diapers didn't have the dip in the front. (Explanation: Newborns' belly buttons have to stay dry so that the umbilical chord can fall off. My mom always bought these special diapers that had a dip in the front so that the belly button doesn't come in contact with the diaper and any dampness.... I told you - I know these random but useful tidbits.) My mom laughed and laughed at my observation, and she said, "It's going to take you at least five years to forget this stuff." :) I don't want to forget the information I have, I just want to keep it stored in my mind for some time before I have to use it.
To a certain extent, I understand the obsessiveness of some parents. Babies are a huge responsibility, they're fragile and precious, which makes them quite scary. I suppose some parents deal with this by trying to enforce control on the situation, but sometimes you just can't force things.
I was at a baby shower today and an older friend of mine told me that she was in a similar situation as mine - when she was 16, her mother had a baby boy. So when this friend of mine had her first baby, she wasn't one of those stressful moms because she was familiar with having a baby in the house. "When you get married though," she says, "make sure you tell your husband that you want to wait a while before you have kids." I totally agree. As much as I love my siblings and as much as I want kids of my own someday, I'd like to enjoy a quiet household with no babies for awhile. Apparently, my friend waited five years after her marriage before she had her first child. She only had one baby brother, I have four!
Anyways, at the baby shower, one of the gifts was a box of 96 newborn-sized diapers. One of the guests comments, "Only someone with no kids would buy such a thing. Your baby's going to come out weighing 8lb..." (Basically, the baby will grow out of the newborn size diapers/clothes before the box of diaper finishes). I later commented to my mom that the thing I noticed is that the diapers didn't have the dip in the front. (Explanation: Newborns' belly buttons have to stay dry so that the umbilical chord can fall off. My mom always bought these special diapers that had a dip in the front so that the belly button doesn't come in contact with the diaper and any dampness.... I told you - I know these random but useful tidbits.) My mom laughed and laughed at my observation, and she said, "It's going to take you at least five years to forget this stuff." :) I don't want to forget the information I have, I just want to keep it stored in my mind for some time before I have to use it.
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